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advertising-jordon asked:

So you're 8 now? Did I miss something? I hope Larry doesn't start bossing you around because he's the older one now

douchebagvonkoopa:

advertising-jordon:

douchebagvonkoopa:

Larry is older, but I still know far more magic.
I would kick his shit in.

What about Roy? I don’t see him listening to you this week at all!

Roy never listens to anything, without the threat of violence, or unless he wants to.
Not much of a difference, there.

Yeah maybe. But this time, he won’t take your threats seriously or even push you around because he’s the strongest now

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

actually, mainly just one ocd obsessive anon; me. aka: the one that hugs you, the one that interrogated you on your depression issues, the one that offered to murder your bastard of a father, the one that wants your penis measurements and the one who gave you tips on flying.

douchebagvonkoopa:

advertising-jordon:

douchebagvonkoopa:

Are you writing a book about me, by chance?



I don’t quite understand the reason behind all of this information gathering, otherwise. Unless you are a spy, who is… focused on some pretty odd things.
May I suggest a more fulfilling hobby?

Actually a book about you would be kinda cool but maybe not involving the questions the anon is asking

I do plan to assign someone to write an account of my life, later down the line, after my empire is well established. After all, the people will want to know about the accomplishments of their ruler, and I would hate for my success story to be lost to history.

Hell, I may even write my own. My personal thoughts would give some prime insight, so those who may disagree with me can truly view my perspective, unbiased by their own assumptions.

It will most certainly not include the information that the anon is asking. I assure you of that, right now.

Awesome! When it comes out, I’ll buy it!

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

actually, mainly just one ocd obsessive anon; me. aka: the one that hugs you, the one that interrogated you on your depression issues, the one that offered to murder your bastard of a father, the one that wants your penis measurements and the one who gave you tips on flying.

douchebagvonkoopa:

Are you writing a book about me, by chance?



I don’t quite understand the reason behind all of this information gathering, otherwise. Unless you are a spy, who is… focused on some pretty odd things.
May I suggest a more fulfilling hobby?

Actually a book about you would be kinda cool but maybe not involving the questions the anon is asking

how-clever:

This is Bella. She is 6 years old, and loves Disney, and dreams of being a princess someday. Recently, she was diagnosed with leukemia. She has just started chemo, and now all the crossed fingers and prayers have begun. I’m not trying to make this a sob story or anything, I just want to ask you guys to pray for her. She is a good girl, and deserves so much. Please reblog this, so that we can spread the word, and get as many prayers as possible for her! Also, if you can, please like her Facebook page, so that her and her family can see how many people support her, and love her, and are keeping her in their prayers. Please, it only takes a couple seconds to reblog this. It’s really important. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

Now that you're a human, you should be more attractive to Samus or Peach. Take advantage of that!

douchebagvonkoopa:

advertising-jordon:

douchebagvonkoopa:

You do have a point. I hadn’t thought about that.





… Wait, why the Princess?

I think he means with Peach, you could go into her kingdom, earn her trust and get secret intel to use against them or something like that

But through my “attractiveness” as a human?

That sounds a lot like implication that I should try to seduce the Princess,
and I am not doing that.

image

EW! You don’t need to seduce her! Just befriend her. Anyway, that plumber probably has claims on her anyway. Again. EW!

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